Un-fragile Like a Flower...

not fragile like a bomb.

This week, my garden surprised me. I was on my hands and knees digging out the profligacy of weeds when I noticed that both the hydrangea and peony that I planted last year, which were decimated by an unknown creature within weeks of planting, had returned bigger and stronger.

The sight of these two plants filled me with joy. I am not an accomplished gardener, and when both plants disappeared last year within weeks of planting, I was crestfallen. I spent several weeks cursing the slugs or mice that devoured them, and vowed to make sure I planted more hardy specimens in future.

When I am painting, weaving and pottering in the garden, I often listen to audiobooks. Over the past few months, I have been listening to and thoroughly enjoying “this one wild and precious life” by Sarah Wilson. The whole book is enlightening and is a strong reminder not to avoid doing the important things just because they are challenging. It was, however, her perspective on our fragility that struck a particular chord with me. Sarah talks about the human need to make ourselves “unfragile” by challenging ourselves, operating on our edge and squaring up to the hard bits of life.

I love this concept. I have always enjoyed pushing myself outside my comfort zone, whether it is running new distances, starting a business or standing up on a stage with heat creeping across my face as I read my poetry to a room full of strangers. In my teaching career, I railed against the constant cosseting of children and the ever-increasing focus on being right rather than being curious. I loved teaching Forest School, where children were encouraged to take risks and operate outside of their comfort zone, and being right didn’t matter at all.

What kept popping into my head as I listened to Sarah talking about being “unfragile” is a feminist clothing company that has a t-shirt with a slogan, “Not Fragile Like A Flower, Fragile Like A Bomb!” It struck me that the company has the slogan all wrong; being fragile like a bomb means you blow up and destroy everything around you, including yourself, you can only do this once, and you suffer as much as those you are reacting to. Far better to be unfragile like a flower, trodden on, cut down or demolished by some unnamed creature, you bide your time, put down deeper roots and come back ready to resist.

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When someone upsets or injures you,
do not be fragile like a bomb.
Don't let a tidal wave of rage pull you under.
Do not explode into piercing shards,
causing damage to those that you love,
or let the actions of others rip you asunder.

Instead, send your crushed petals and seeds down into the ground.
Let your face be washed clean by gentle rains.
Put down your deepest roots
and send up tenacious shoots.
Turn your face to the warm sun.
Bloom.